Bittersweet

Let's be honest. We aren't exactly thrilled about leaving the West Coast and Southern California. Certainly, that's geographically speaking. Steve is more than ready to leave his job and his annoying boss and co-workers. I am ready to finally start a fulltime job in an area where I have been training in for how many years? (oh, 8... right...) However, the thought of being 4 hours away from an ocean is a bit hard for us. The thought of 120 degrees is also a bit overwhelming, when most of our days, YEAR ROUND are 65-70. I'm not trying to brag, just putting it perspective. When you've lived in this kind of weather, this kind of gorgeous fauna, this kind of bluest ocean, it's a little hard to say goodbye. No wonder people in Santa Barbara never leave. Seriously. We have met so many people here that grew up here, or went to college here and NEVER LEFT. EVER. And they even work in crap jobs just to stay here. We didn't exactly understand that when we moved here.

We do now. Although that still doesn't change our other thoughts on this town - that it's elitist. That there is way too much money. That it's conservative. That everyone seems to suffer from a general malaise that makes them do nothing, or if something, very very slowly and with little effort. 

We're looking at Vegas as our "tour of duty." Get in, get out. Get the credits so I can get the next good job. (Or get almost to tenure so I can bargain my way into another university in a better geographical region).  Get Steve his MFA so HE can get the awesome job and get me a spousal hire. This is all conjecture, of course. We could get there and love it. (Not exactly sure on that front... but hey, trying to keep a little positive). I am looking forward to the ease of procuring various goods and sundries. How capitalist of me is that? I miss a good (and cheap) Asian grocery store. I miss Target. I miss affordable thrift stores. I miss tasty, inexpensive restaurants. Apparently, Las Vegas has all of these (esp. the awesome thrift stores. Seriously. I've had a few people tell me that.) Does all of this relate to expense? You betcha. Paradise costs, people. (Although I will be intrigued about the price of produce...) Let's put it in perspective. We have a 2 bedroom, 1 bath house with a 1 car, rat-infested garage. (But we have an expansive yard, porch and deck). In Las Vegas, FOR HALF WHAT WE PAY NOW, we are moving into a 3 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath, 2 car garage house. Seriously? We don't have fight over the bathroom? I don't have to wipe Stella pee off the seat before I pee? Sign me up.

And yet, as I type this, I'm canned 4 pints of vanilla applesauce. From our apple tree. Since last July, I have canned:
- vanilla plum jam
- blood orange marmalade
- bourbon, ginger peach jam
- peach butter
- apricot jam

All from our fruit trees in the yard. I haven't bought lemons or oranges in 2 years. This alone will make it hard to say goodbye.

And then again, I at least have a bunch of jars of jam to remember it every week when I make Stella's peanut butter and jelly.

Pushing buttons

Steve is in his last tech week - albeit a "mini one" where he only has to work until 11pm Tuesday- Thursday this week. Needless to say, I am toast after two afternoons/evenings with the girls by myself. How sad is that? Yesterday went beautifully. Tonight? Stella did about everything she could do to drive me batty. How's this one for cheeky?
After 10 minutes of cajoling her to sit her butt down and eat dinner, only to watch her run around and find everything else to do but that.
- "Stella, I am happy to take your dinner away. And no, there will be nothing later. You need to eat now if you're hungry."
That didn't work... but about 5 minutes later, I'm nursing Louisa at the dinner table, because of course she has to nurse when the proverbial poo is hitting the fan.
- "Mommy? I'm happy to take your water away."
 - "What??"
- "Well, you're not drinking it, so I'm happy to take it away."

I swear that she had a gleam in her eye when she said it, like, you want to play that game Mommy? So can I.

If 3 years old is like this, what is 13 going to be like? Louisa better continue to be an easy child or we have are hands full!

Overdue

There aren’t enough hours in the day.

And when this momma has umpteen things on her to-do list (and then freezes up and doesn’t do any of them because she is so overwhelmed by the amount of things to do) the blog gets ditched.

Which is a shame, because I have written quite a few blog posts in my head over the past month. But I guess I’ll have to be brief and do blog paragraphs instead of individual posts.

#1 – Happy Third Birthday Stella!

I wrote in my head a wonderful letter to you – about how mature you have become, about how much of a helper you are to your little sister (almost too much, as in “Mommy, Louisa needs diapers now. Mommy, you didn’t fill up the wipes. Mommy, I need a burp cloth for Louisa”). How some days I get confused that you are only 3 because I have full conversations with you and then wonder why you melt down at my feet when it’s nap time. How after Louisa’s birth, I truly mourned our alone time – our wonderful almost-3 years that we had, just us three, where I could give you everything of me when you needed it, and how I could hold your hand anytime. How how you transition so beautifully through major life changes – the birth of a baby, the move up to a new preschool classroom, to a big girl bed – and then transition so horribly through the little things – mealtime, naptime, leaving a project too soon. But as is wont to happen with the upheaval of a household, the blog birthday letter is still in my head. But I love you little girl. big girl. big sister. Big heart.

#2 – We’re moving.

Seriously? Yes. Seriously. The week of Louisa’s birth I was asked to an on campus interview at Univ. of Nevada Las Vegas. 15 days after she was born, Steve and I fly there with her so that I could interview all day (and nurse during breaks) and surprisingly, they still hired me. I’m excited about the job (tenure track, assistant professorship, all academic theatre classes, overhaul the academic curriculum and teach graduate students) but we are less than thrilled about the environs.

I mean, when you live in one of the most beautiful places in the country, it’s rather hard to want to move to the desert. You know, in July when it’s going to be 120.

So there’s that. But I guess if we are going to be anywhere, at least Steve (should? will? maybe?) find a job there in his field, and we’re hoping that the following year, he’ll get into the MFA program in the Theatre dept so that he can also have his terminal degree to teach. In four years, we’ll be the theatre teaching power couple, ya’ll.

So our new address is (as of July 25):

8317 Lexford Street, Las Vegas, NV 89123

My dad is a peach and is coming out here to help finalize the move in Santa Barbara and drive through the Mojave through the night with me and the girls. It’s only 6 hours from here, so it won’t be *too* bad, but it will certainly be a shock for all of us on the other head. I think the hardest thing for us is going to be the lack of outside things to do when it’s hot. We don’t know how to operate our day without going outside and doing something. The one who is hopefully going to benefit from the whole thing immediately is Scupper, as the poor pooch has developed a severe allergy to everything garden/lawn related in Santa Barbara and is itching himself raw. Ain’t nothing going to bother him out there!! Except for maybe scorpions.

#3 – Three months already?

Next week, this little cutie will be 3 months old.

How did THAT happen? And for some reason, because of runny poo (don’t ask) I’ve been gluten and dairy free for 10 days… and need to go at least a month.

Hey, I’m willing to do. One, because I believe in breastfeeding, and two, because I’m too cheap to afford formula. but seriously, if this keeps up after a month, I might have to re-question my ideals. I cannot tell you how hard it was last week to walk into an artisan bread and pastry shop and realize that I could not EAT ANYTHING THERE.

But how tacky of me? This wasn’t supposed to be about me bitching about my dietary restrictions. Because that smile up there makes it all worth it. (oh, and realizing that 73% dark chocolate and beyond is dairy free. ;) Louisa is a joy – still the most mild mannered baby a person could wish for. She hardly cries, mostly just fusses when it’s appropriate (early evening, when she’s hungry), and thinks that you blowing raspberries is the bomb. I’ve been doing cloth diapers with her and have also found that hugely satisfying (mostly, again, to my cheap factor but also to realize the lack of trash we have been putting out). She already sleeps better a night at this point than Stella ever did (can we hear a cheer for 4-6 hrs for the first stretch!) and if I’m lucky, only gets up once after that. If this keeps up, I might actually function this fall teaching all my classes.

I’m trying very hard to enjoy my moments with her, as I know they will be finite soon. I’m still wrestling with the whole “I can’t believe I was home with Stella for almost 18 months straight and will only be home with her 5.5” but I also am ready to get back to what I’m trained to do… and being at home with both her and Stella also makes me realize I’m not the best stay at home mom. Trying to navigate the day with both of them some days can be really tough. Although I do give myself personal pats on the back for the days when we get through Trader Joes seamlessly. Two kids? A grocery store full of amazing treats? No meltdowns? Score one for Momma!

So I’ll have to make peace with the fact that they are going into preschool/day care for 4 days a week starting in August, and know that “Mommy Fridays” are going to be the best ever. At least I hope.

#4 Our last California Coast camping trip.

Sniffle sniffle. 5 days in Big Sur was bliss. It was tough, don’t get my wrong. Stella turns into Lord of the Flies when we’re camping, but it was awesome. I will truly miss listening to the pounding of the waves as we fall asleep in the van.

So that’s our recent life. In a nutshell.

So pardon the lack of blog posts for a bit. I’m supposed to be writing a book chapter that is due to an editor by July 15. I’m supposed to be writing a conference paper I have to give on August 4. I’m trying to pack a house. And order textbooks. and write syllabi for 3 new classes. Guess we Germonski’s don’t do anything easy. Because it’s nothing like having a baby, moving, and starting a new job, all in 5 months to make life interesting.