Plus one…

We are excited, yet full of trepidations. It seems to be always on our mind, and yet, we aren’t thinking about it as much as one would assume. We planned this, and we know that many people in the world do this – and handle it – and survive, and yet, we wonder how this will change things. We learned what the “new” normal means, and now we fear and welcome the “new new” normal.

We, my friends, are pregnant. Or I am pregnant, and Steve and the rest of the family have to deal with the repercussions of such pregnancy. Like the mood swings, and the twice-weekly cravings for traditional, in a pot with oil and butter, white popcorn. Like the readjustment to the new body, that I remember so well, and yet after 2 years of working hard to lose weight, get in shape and run after a growing toddler, is proving to be a hard adjustment. Like the desire the nest already and yet no energy or time in which to do so because after making dinner, bath, books, songs and bedtime, all we want to do is crawl into bed instead of knit things and make upcycled sweater monsters. (Doesn’t everyone need one of these?)

It sounds like I’m complaining. And I supposed this is an awkward way of announcing a pretty darn exciting thing. I’m not trying to complain, but rather to share the precipice on which we stand, peering over the edge, wondering what April 11 might bring. Or April 2. Or April 5 or 9. You know, ‘cause we don’t like to come on time around here.

Steve had a mid-morning doctor’s appointment last week and stayed home until he had to go. We sat on the front porch as Stella had her morning snack, watching her grab handfuls of cheese or raisins and run into the yard, yelling, chase me Scupper! Chase me! Lucky for her, with a handful of cheese, Scupper was happy to oblige. I turned to Steve, and both of us said at the same moment, Yep, she needs a sibling.

And then all of sudden, all was right with the world. The scariness of the unknown, the nagging worries of proper fetal development, the tenuous knowledge of the preciousness of fetal life as well as birth. It all seemed conquerable. It all seemed fine. Just fine.

Oh – and I’m totally making this shirt for Halloween this year.