I thought a lot about this today, considering I’m always harping on myself for things not accomplished, things I wish I had time to do, things I always wish I could do differently. I think making a list of non-suckable things from 2011 might be a good thing. And frankly, since I’m sharing mine, I urge you to come up with your own. Being positive is always better than being cranky, right? (although ooooh, I am so good at self-flagellation and being cranky.)
- I cooked (relatively) healthy meals for my family. This does not mean I stopped buying box mac and cheese, because yes, I still have a space in my foodie-heart for that stuff, as foreign from mac or cheese it is. But most nights, when Steve gets home from work at 5:30, we sit down as a family to eat together soon after. This does not mean my daughter eats carrots now. She will not. But I can get her to eat a spinach and cheese omelet or spanakopita, oatmeal with raisins for breakfast (most days), or lentil and quinoa salad. We still go out for the occasional burger and fries (and she eats way too much fruit), but everything in moderation, right?
- I went to 3 major job interviews this year, and tried to be as honest as possible about who I am, and what I want. While I may have not got the job I wanted, I still was true to myself and my family. It felt good t be honest in an interview for the first time in my life. Basically, if you don’t like me for what I can offer and who I am, then I don’t want to work for you.
- I admitted early last year that I couldn’t handle things emotionally, put my daughter in preschool 3 mornings a week and saw a therapist. Admitting that I couldn’t do it all helped me immensely. Seeing Stella thrive at preschool even more than I feel she could at home made it worth it. Talking to someone once a month about myself, uninterrupted for 60 minutes was sublime.
- I canned 14 jars of vanilla plum jam, 5 jars of homemade salsa with tomatoes I grew myself, and froze tons of homemade tomato sauce and roasted cherry tomatoes. I have 8 pounds of blood oranges waiting for me to make marmalade this weekend. I had never canned before and while it’s time consuming, it’s really gives you the awesome feeling of “I made this!”
- I took my daughter to the library about every 2-3 weeks and filled her up with new books, and even had time to read fiction again myself. I am making up for lost time with fiction and it feels good.
- I wrote a book chapter, a book review, a performance review, two journal articles, and a newsletter article. I hate the stress of publishing, cry when I get edits from editors that make me feel like my writing sucks, and hate the rejection of articles. But these I did anyway, and I’m proud of myself for forging ahead. I still hate it, but I’m trying to do judge myself less.
- I survived going on an 8 day camping trip with my husband, a toddler, a dog and 6 weeks pregnant with morning sickness. I loved every minute. Well, maybe not the nausea.
- I tried as best I could to be a loving, caring wife. We need to go on more dates, but the ones we did have (aka date night at home with a fancy meal) were positive.
- I also tried as best I could to be a loving and caring mother. I may not make the most interesting art projects or enrichment activities for my daughter, but she knows how to knead bread, make salsa, and give a big hugs, a kiss and a nose kiss (in that order) with loving abandon.
This post has felt incredible selfish and bombastic. Self-congratulatory and prideful. But there it is. We all need a little pride now and then. So I put it to you – make your list. What did you do this year that didn’t suck? I bet if you thought about it, you didn’t suck as much as you thought.
And now a photo of Stella, at 6:45 am, who asked to have her picture taken opening up her English muffins with her monkey. (I have no clue why, but I did it anyway). She’s a girl who always seems to know what she wants, is proud of who she is, knows she doesn’t suck, and dammit, I’m going to work my hardest to keep her staying that way.
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