Just because you're a mommy....

A month ago I met a dad at the dog park who was pushing his 10 month old (who was bigger than Stella!!) in a little tricycle. We chatting pleasantly for a bit and then he mentioned that if I stayed at home with Stella during the day, he had just joined a "baby group" that gets out and does cheap/free activities with others around town. Great, I said - I'll look into it. Now that Stella is way past the "larvae stage" (as a friend calls it) I feel bad that our weekly outings usually consist of trips to the grocery store, the post office and the swings. Now don't get me wrong - we are at the point now where if we even DRIVE past the playground in our neighborhood, she has a freak out if we don't stop. (And don't even get me started on what happens if we walk with Scupper past there... let's just say that Mommy is a sucker and we usually go on the swings).

Anyway, so I go on their website (sponsored by the larger "meetup.com" which actually seems like a good website for connecting with people) and join. I look at the calendar and they do quite a lot. trips to local museums, storytimes, walks in the park, etc. Most of the kids are 2 and younger, so I'm thinking, this is perfect!

So I go to my first one last week - a meetup at the local YMCA pool/aquatic center that has an awesome baby pool/fountain/slide thing. We're a little late, but I find the coordinating lady in the shallow end with her big black straw hat. "HI! - You must be Aimee! So excited to meet you, you know I am just so happy about this group, and I was SO excited to meet another mom that I haven't met before. You know, this is Michaela and she is just over one and we have been in swimming classes since she was 3 months, I mean, she just loves the water!" [look down, see baby crying softly, obviously not enjoying this at all] "I live around here, isn't this neat? Oh my, look at the straps on her bathing suit, you know, you never can tell about sizing, and boy, i guess i'm going to have to fix these straps, Oh Michaela, it's ok, you LOVE the water, right?"

Woosh. Take a deep breath. "Um, hi. Yes, I'm Aimee, this is Stella."

Finally, the lady took her daughter out of the water and wrapped her up in a towel and she immediately stopped fussing. (Duh). Then the questioning started, so what do you do? Oh that's right, you said you were a student. What do you do again?

Word to the wise. Saying that you're finishing up a PhD in theater is a big conversation ender. I think I just should have said i was a part-time teacher. That may have been more accessible. But let's just say that the conversations that followed were just awkward. They were talking about some new thing, and I admitted that i was in Babies-r-us for the first time in almost 6 months and that Stella and I were amazed all that the crap that you could get for your kids. (oops.) Then I wiped Stella's running nose with the hem of my sundress because I ran out of tissues in our swimming tote. (oops.) I was handed - no joke - a "boogie wipe." Literally, a baby wipe that is supposed to be for the nose and face so that kids don't have a fit when you wipe their face. "Grape flavored." Seriously? I couldn't get the "Grape" smell out of my fingers for two hours after I was offered one to try.

I guess I sound all high and mighty, (and terribly judgmental) but what the "Adventure" put in stark relief for me was that just because you're a mom and someone else is a mom doesn't mean that it is enough to form a friendship. (I guess I should have learned from my daily outings at the dog park, since not all people at the dog park are amazing people either...)

But i did learn one thing - don't drop the PhD bomb. Oh, and I guess that maybe you don't want to wipe your daughter's nose in public with the hem of your dress. I guess they could have gone home that day thinking i was a pretty horrible mother. ;) yeah for boogies.